tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13979881094264343192024-03-13T21:58:43.469-07:00Chronic Outrage Fatigueericvonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16627800898768773632noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1397988109426434319.post-54772525466022834992007-10-17T06:00:00.000-07:002007-10-17T06:07:58.973-07:00Chronic Outrage Fatigue<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">This article first appeared in the Sunday Paper. Because there is no online link available we present the text of the column here:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">Feeling listless? Unable to conjure up the energy to<br />perform everyday tasks? Suddenly turning away from<br />your favorite 24 hour news personalities? You may be<br />suffering from Chronic Outrage Fatigue, a condition<br />currently sweeping America into a frenzy of I don’t<br />give a damn.<br /><br />A media cycle of non-stop effrontery and shocked<br />response has left many in a catatonic state of<br />ambivalence that Dr. Lars von Helmet of the Institute<br />of National Neurosis warns could be irreversible.<br />After years of being told to be outraged by the<br />opinions of this or that Supreme Court nominee, the<br />behavior of this or that pop star or actor, and the<br />improvised ramblings of a myriad of radio<br />personalities, many in the general public have simply<br />become numb to outrage. When they hear of the latest<br />public scandal or indignation they feel a hollow<br />nothingness and can’t play along with the rest of us.<br />According to the doctor, “it’s as if they’ve lost<br />their will to be angry at strangers on TV.”<br /><br />Dr. von Helmet tells the story of one young lady,<br />we’ll call her Alice, who became so confused at her<br />own conflicting episodes of outrage she collapsed into<br />a heap of befuddlement and has been unable to extract<br />herself to this day.<br /><br />After being angry at the Dixie Chicks in 2003 for<br />opposing the war and saying bad things about the<br />President, ‘Alice’ found herself outraged at that same<br />President two years later and the war in her head<br />began. Now she hates both the chart-topping country<br />trio and the man they said they hated when they<br />outraged her so much to begin with. She sits in a<br />corner window of the Institute rocking to and fro,<br />mumbling... haunted.<br /><br />Alice isn’t alone. Another subject being studied at<br />I.N.N., we’ll call him Bob, was recently outraged by<br />so many things he saw on Fox News in a one month<br />period he suffered the kind of mental breakdown that<br />requires trained professionals to handle your bathroom<br />duties for awhile.<br /><br />Some experts believe Chronic Outrage Fatigue may have<br />gotten a big push during the nationwide television<br />drama known as Hurricane Katrina two years ago.<br /><br />Before the levee broke many viewers were outraged with<br />the looters for stealing goods from stores after the<br />owners evacuated the city. After the levee broke those<br />same viewers became outraged with the government for<br />not saving the looters quickly enough. Later they were<br />outraged at the rape and murder that was reported to<br />have been happening inside the Super Dome. Later<br />still, viewer outrage was trained upon news reporters<br />when it was revealed that no rape or murder actually<br />took place inside the Super Dome.<br /><br />If you feel you are suffering from any of the symptoms<br />of Chronic Outrage Fatigue doctors advise you to<br />unplug your televisions and disconnect your computers<br />from the internet as soon as possible- and for as long<br />as possible. It is only through rest and<br />non-stimulation that the outrage reflex can be<br />restored to the point of making a person one day give<br />a damn again. Continued exposure to the news cycle<br />will only exacerbate the problem.<br /><br />“You can be a cowboy and decide to fight this thing<br />while staying plugged in,” says Dr. von Helmet, “but<br />you don’t stand much of a chance in a media climate<br />where D-List comedienne Kathy Griffin is dissin’<br />Jesus, octogenarian Jerry Lewis is offending the gays,<br />and O.J. Simpson is back on trial.”<br /><br />With plenty of outrage yet to be dished up the<br />Institute of National Neurosis is predicting that if<br />left unabated these constant episodes of vitriolic<br />outrage will, in time, paralyze the entire country.<br /><br />The only effective prescription, a grain of salt, has<br />not yet been approved for medicinal purposes by the<br />FDA. Isn’t it outrageous!</span>ericvonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16627800898768773632noreply@blogger.com1